Understanding Borderline Personalit Disorder
In previous posts, we explored the ways in which the stigmatization of mental health issues is incredibly damaging and in an effort to demystify some of these more often stigmatized diagnoses, we’re going to get into the details of three different diagnoses. The first that we’ll be getting into this week is Borderline Personality Disorder. Like most of the personality disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder (also called Emotional Disregulation Disorder) is incredibly misunderstood. It’s also having a moment in the general zeitgeist. Mental health professionals will tell you that periodically (in my own experience it seems to be separated out roughly by decade), you’ll see an uptick a certain diagnosis. Recent examples include both Bipolar Disorder and ADHD. Right now, it’s Borderline Personality Disorder.
Let’s start with the basics, what is Borderline Personality Disorder? Like it’s counter title suggests, Borderline Personality Disorder is a mental health diagnosis that is hallmarked by an extreme difficulty to regulate one’s emotions. This perceived loss of emotional control can create an increase in impulsivity, impact how one views themselves (typically into the negative direction), and challenges the relationships that they have with others. The phrase most associated with Borderline Personality Disorder is “I hate you! Don’t leave me!”. Specific behaviors that someone may exhibit include:
Efforts to avoid real or perceived abandonment, such as plunging headfirst into relationships—or ending them just as quickly.
A pattern of intense and unstable relationships
A distorted sense of self.
Impulsive and often high-risk, behaviors like spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating.
Self-harm
Recurring suicidal ideation or threats
Intense and highly variable moods
Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger.
Dissociation
There has been an untrue attitude also floating around recently that Borderline Personality Disorder cannot be treat. This is absolutely untrue. Personality disorders can be challenging to treat and Judith Belmont, LPC explains this well because “psychological disturbance is woven into the fabric of one’s personality. It provides a backdrop for discrete mental health problems like depression, anxiety, substance abuse, eating disorders, etc.,”. Being woven into the fabric of one’s personality is the key here because personality is described as, at its most basic, the characteristic patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that make a person unique and is generally believed to be most static and long standing. However, personality disorders CAN be treated with a combination of therapy and possibly medication. Currently, dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) is the gold standard for treating Borderline Personality Disorder. SO if you see yourself or a loved one in these characteristics, there’s definitely a path toward change.
How does someone develop BPD? This is a bit of a mystery even to the mental health world but there are a number of theories gaining traction. For borderline personality disorder specifically, it has been suggested that relational trauma like abuse, abandonment, and hardship can explain the development of the disorder. From an attachment perspective, the behaviors are a result of insecure attachment and are a form of extreme pursual in a dynamic context. People with borderline personality disorder, like all people, want to feel safe, secure, loved, cared for, and confident that that safety, security, and care will be long lasting while also being on the lookout for any threat to that. Other factors that are suggested to be part of the development of borderline personality disorder include genetics and structural and functional changes in the brain.
The constant lookout for perceived or real rejection can contribute to making relationships with your loved one with borderline personality disorder challenging. That does not mean that you cannot or should not have a relationship. Things that can help you in navigating this relationship include:
· Recognizing that there may be more reassurance required in this relationship
· Identifying and maintaining your own boundaries
· Approaching behaviors with empathy
· Not dismissing behaviors or feelings out of hand. Even when someone has a diagnosis that includes difficulty regulating emotions, it does not mean that you’re always in the right. Examine your own behavior.
Hopefully, this has served to increase your knowledge about Borderline Personality Disorder and will help you in dismantling the existing stigma around all personality disorders and BPD in particular. If you’re recognizing yourself in some of these behaviors or a loved one, know that the relationship and your life is absolutely not doomed. Click the button below and I’ll happily point you in a starting direction.