Physical Touch

Rounding out our series on the five love languages is #5, Physical Touch.

I can see all of the eyerolls now. Great, sex communicates love, tell us something we don’t know.

The physical touch love language goes well beyond sex. It refers to any touch that is pleasurable to the receiver.

** I feel like it’s important for us to note here that we’re talking in the context of a consensual, adult, relationship. It’s also important to remind everyone here that love and expressions of love are freely given, they are not demanded or coerced. If touch is being demanded or coerced from you, that is not love that is not the love language.**

Back to physical touch. SO if this goes beyond just sex, what all can it entail? The physical touch love language can be expressed though a hand on a shoulder, a squeeze of a knee, a snuggle, sitting closely on the sofa, a peck in passing, or ANY OTHER PLEASURABLE TOUCH.

How do you know if your attempts at physical touch feel good to your partner? ASK THEM. Talk about it. Because you may think “aha, my partner’s love language is physical touch! I’ll give them a pat on the butt when they pass me” and while you may be right that that’s your partner’s love language, they may find that particular touch to be uncomfortable, cringy, or hurtful. (You can replace a pat on the butt with literally any touch) and rather than filling their love tank, you may be inadvertently depleting it.

When we talk about types of touch that work for your partner it’s really not overly complicated, it’s very similar to the dialects of the other love languages that were explored in previous weeks. Consider the different types of touch to be different dialects of the physical touch love language.

For a concrete place to start, maybe you and your spouse can try to work a 30 second hug and a 6 second kiss into your day!

If you and your partner continue to struggle with speaking one another’s love languages and you’re located in New York, click the button below and let’s work together!