What do your relationships and systems have in common?

Relationships, computers, ponds, and circuits.

What do all of these have in common? They’re systems.

Now you may be thinking, why is this important on a therapy blog? What does this matter in my search for a therapist or therapeutic tools?

Simply stated, it is the beginning of everything. Born out of biology, General Systems Theory suggests that there are “universal principles of organization which hold for all systems be they physical, chemical, biological, mental or social” (Heylighen, 1998) (http://pespmc1.vub.ac.be/SYSAPPR.html).

I know, I can hear you now saying “okay, but what does that have to do with therapy?” Especially considering that stereotypical visions of therapy may have you thinking about an individual laying on a sofa with a single therapist (possibly old, possibly male, possibly bearded) sitting just out of the client’s vision holding a clipboard offering limited “mhmm”s and “ah, I see”s.

That is not systems work. Working with a therapist who comes from a systemic framework will not look like this.

Therapists who believe in systems theory (and there are many of us!), believe that every relationship (familial, romantic, friendship, professional) creates its own system with its own rules. Everyone in the system has a role and plays by the rules developed out of the system. This allows members to behave in predictable ways that are then met by predictable responses. The interplay leads to both balance and dysfunction in a system depending upon the system.

Given this, a systemic therapist, will look at their client (whether their client is an individual, a couple, a family, or other configuration of people) within the larger context of their systems and environment. Whatever it is that you’re struggling with is not only a function of your own individual, internal, experience.

For example, if Jack and Jill are coming to a therapist that has a systems perspective, that therapist is not conceptualizing the client as “individual Jack and individual Jill”, but rather the client is “Jack and Jill’s relationship”.

This work is most obviously seen when a couple or family is entering therapy. Afterall, there is your system! Now we can play with the system and each member of it and how they act and react with one another. Those interactions can then be tweaked according to the therapist’s model to provide more balance and overall health rather than dysfunction and your system will then function in a healthier way.

But what about individuals? How does this idea benefit them?

Because systems rely on all members to behave and respond in predictable ways, all it takes is one part to do something outside of those predictable behaviors to send the system into upheaval.

For individuals they will be assisted in examining their own role and how they maintain their system and work to change their behavior in a way that is more beneficial to them and invites the other members of the system to do something different.

How will you feel working with a systems therapist?

Ideally those entering into therapy with a therapist that comes from a systems perspective will feel a greater sense of collaboration and understanding of where behavior comes from, conversely there will not be a focus on any “sick” or “broken” individual because it’s not about the individual. Outside of the room, there will ideally be a greater commitment to everyone making their individual changes as they are now aware of how they work to maintain a system that is getting them what they do not want.

How can you use this in your search for a therapist? Many therapists offer a consult call or visit before you’re financially committed to working with them and this is a great opportunity for you to ask your therapist what perspective they work from and if it is more individualistic or systemic.

If you’re interested in starting therapy with someone coming from a system’s perspective in Connecticut, New York ,or New Jersey, click the button below and let’s have a conversation.