What is Cultural Abuse?

Rounding out our series on the ways that abuse can show up in relationships, we have what is likely the least-spoken about or acknowledged type of abuse and that’s Cultural identity or spiritual abuse.

What is that? Cultural abuse occurs when abusers use aspects of a victim’s culture, identity, or spirituality, to inflict suffering or as a means of control.

How is this done? Like all types of abuse, this can be inflicted through a variety of ways, but some common ones include:

·        Belittling the victim’s spiritual or cultural worth, beliefs or practices

·        Violating or preventing the victim’s spiritual or cultural practices

·        Denying the victim access to their spiritual or cultural community

·        Causing the victim to transgress spiritual or cultural obligations or prohibitions

·        Forcing on the victim spiritual or cultural beliefs and practices that are in conflict with their own

·        Manipulating spiritual readings and practices to justify abuse

·        Misusing the traditions, practices and expectations of the spiritual or cultural community to which the victim belongs as a means of normalizing or suppressing the abusive behaviors, silencing the victim, or preventing the victim from seeking support and help

Okay…but what does that look like?

Specific behaviors that would encompass cultural identify and spiritual abuse include:

·        Telling someone that they’re not _____ (culture or identity) enough

·        Telling someone that they’re TOO ____ (culture or identity)

·        Not allowing someone to keep the dietary practices of their culture (ex. Halal or kosher)

·        Using stereotypes to put the victim down

·        Denouncing the religious, spiritual, or cultural practices as being useless or stupid

·        Forcing the victim to practice the abuser’s religious/cultural/spiritual practices

·        Threatening to “out” someone

·        Preventing someone from wearing clothing prescribed by their culture or spiritual practices

·        Citing religious texts as a means to “remind” the abuser of God’s disapproval of divorce

·        Telling the victim that if they ever disclose the abuse, that their religious, cultural, or spiritual community will not believe them, will shun them, or will oust them.

There are so many other behaviors that I could list here. Many could be cross referenced with hate crimes, prejudice, racism, and xenophobia. The important things to remember here is that abusers do these things as a means to obtain power and control over their victims. You do not have to endure this alone.

Like I’ve said many times before in this series, if you’re experiencing this or any other kind of abuse or controlling behavior, please contact the national domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or chat with them online to find additional resources at thehotline.org/help/

They can help you find resources and secure your safety.

As with surviving any abuse, I strongly recommend that victims and survivors seek support. You are not in this alone.