Making Life’s Dreams Come True

You’ve made it through conflict management! Now we can move toward the future! Once you’ve reached this floor of the sound relationship house, you’ve built your friendship foundation, you can think of and express positivity toward your partner and relationship, and you can manage the conflicts that arise, now you need to build forward.

Who do you want to be in the future?

What are your life dreams?

What is important to you on a grand scale?

What about your partner? Who do they want to be? What mountains do they want to climb? What is important to them?

First, ponder these big questions! What have you always dreamed of? They can range from the silly to the serious.

Then, create a way that you both feel safe to share. This can harken back to the first floor and your love maps! In the same way you created ways to learn about one another and your histories and what make you you, you can also use those same skills to learn about what you both dream of. It can be a nice, natural, progression, from what and how you have been and what has created your present experience, to what you want written on your tombstone and what you want to be known for.

Our job as partners then becomes to see how you can help your partner achieve their dreams! Get excited about it! Your ways of sharing help you to understand why and how this is an important dream for them, that understanding can help support excitement and support even when it’s around a topic or hobby or goal that you don’t share. It can have importance just because it holds importance for your partner. It’s your job to treat that dream or goal lovingly and with care.  

I’ve had more than one client ask me if they were supposed to just do things sometimes because their partner wants to and the answer, sometimes, is yes. If your partner has always dreamed of seeing the northern lights, you can support them booking trips that can help make that happen! If your partner wants to be known as an entrepreneur, you can help figure out how that can happen! It’s one of the unspoken things that we agree to when we enter into a marriage. Perhaps we should add it into the vows.

If you’re finding this significantly challenging, it might indicate that you need to put some effort into the lower levels. Perhaps you don’t have solid love maps? Maybe you have felt unappreciated and your bids for connection have gone unnoticed. Maybe you’ve been really struggling in conflict.

All of those make it challenging to support dreams that are just owned by your partner. So take a step down and put in some work to get yourselves back on track.