Concrete Steps to Reconnecting

Last week we explored feeling like you’re growing apart. And oftentimes that feeling is bred from missed bids for connection so this week we’re going to go over ideas for reconnection.

You already know that you have to commit and you have to be vulnerable but if it has been a really long time since you’ve felt connected knowing what to do can be a challenge! You want to feel connected, you want to feel like you and your partner are growing together but what do you need to do to do that?

Well, every couple will have their own brand of connection and will develop their own rituals of connection, but here are some ideas to get you started!

If you only have a few seconds to a few minutes: 

• Note something that you appreciate about your partner

• Touch your partner’s elbow (sounds weird, totally works!)

• Send your partner a text to let them know you’re thinking about them (this can even just be a meme or a funny gif!)

• Have a 20 second hug

• Have a 6 second kiss

• Write them a note to find in their lunch or work bag

If you have a few minutes to a few hours: 

• Carve out time to check in about how you’re feeling that day

• Ask and answer a question of two of the NYT 36 Questions for Intimacy

• Go on a date

• Leave them flowers on their car while they’re at work

• Disconnect from electronics for a night and use that time to be together

• Meet for lunch in the middle of your workday

• Attend religious services together

• Buy your partner a “happy today!” gift

• Have sex

• Create a breakfast in bed ritual on the weekend

If you have all the time in the world: 

• Take a vacation together

• Explore and map out your dreams for the future

• Take a relationship workshop/retreat

• Take a class or learn a new hobby

• Set up a plan to exercise together (then actually do it!)