Learning to Take Up Space
We have a real issue in our world today around feeling comfortable taking up space.
I mean that in every sense of the word. Physically, emotionally, spiritually.
Somewhere we all decided that being small and taking up as little space as possible was preferable to being our authentic selves.
There are so many larger sociological issues that this is wrapped up in (ex, racism, fatphobia, sexism, just to name a few) and I don’t think I can do any of them total justice here, but it’s important to note that this developed from a long line of -isms that do not serve the majority of us.
So let’s talk about what getting comfortable taking up space entails:
1. Knowing that you’re worthy of space.
a. Your thoughts, feelings, experiences, and body have value. You do not have to apologize for the space that they take up in the world. You do not have to downplay who you are.
2. Refusing to make yourself smaller -and therefore uncomfortable- for the comfort of others. ESPECIALLY the comfort of strangers.
a. You don’t owe anyone anything. You do not have to downplay who you are or literally pull your body in for the comfort of anyone else. Your comfort gets to count. Your pride gets to count. Your being happy, joyful, -or shoot, NEUTRAL- in who you are is allowed to come before the comfort of other people for whom your taking up space might make uncomfortable.
3. Being unapologetically yourself and allowing those who recognize and appreciate that into your circle.
a. This may mean letting go of people for whom you taking up space makes uncomfortable. How are they profiting off of you keeping yourself small or making you feel like you need to be small? You do not need to buy into that and if that’s what they’re getting out of a relationship with you, you no longer need to engage with that.
Let’s recognize that this is a blog post and each person’s individual experiences definitely involve more nuance when it comes to getting comfortable with taking up space AND at the end of the day, these three things are what need to be accomplished.
If you’re struggling with feeling okay taking up space reach out to me! This is something that I can help you move through as we explore the specific feelings and isms underlying your discomfort with taking up space. You don’t have to live small forever.