Putting Yourself Out There

Let’s talk about putting yourself “out there”. This is something that I’ve heard about in various contexts for most of my life. But what are we really talking about when we say we’re ready, or, alternatively, not ready to put ourselves out there?

Often times what we’re talking about is RISK.

We’re ready to risk connection.

We’re ready to risk belonging.

We’re ready to risk rejection.

We’re ready to risk taking chances.

We’re ready to risk being vulnerable.

When we break it down to risk, that becomes a much different conversation than trying to find friends or looking for a partner. There’s a lot more there to uncover.

How do we get comfortable with that kind of risk?

1.       Get comfortable with yourself. Who are you at your most authentic? What do you like? What are your hopes and dreams?

2.       What are you looking for in a connection? In what ways are you looking for this to serve you? What are your intentions?

3.       What are some lower stakes risks you can take to start getting comfortable with making these kinds of attempts? Is there someone you have a loose connection with that you can reach out to?

4.       Take incrementally larger risks. You are working on your “risk account”. Make incrementally larger risks of varying stakes. This will help give you a variety of successes to pull from when your brain thinks about risk. It also creates a cushion to protect you from the times that your risk doesn’t pay off.

5.       Do the damn thing. You’ve got this. You have experience to back you up. If you’re successful, WONDERFUL! If you’re not, you know now that you will survive!

If you find yourself struggling with this or noticing a ton of feelings coming up around thinking about risk, let’s talk. If you’re in New York, I can help you unpack those feelings and get started building up that account!