Emotional Whack-A-Mole
This week, we’re diving into one of my favorite topics. I’ve probably talked about this with every client I’ve ever worked with and probably everyone in my personal life too.
Emotional Whack-a-Mole.
Now, I coined the term, but I certainly did not invent the concept. What is emotional whack a mole?
To define this well, we have to go back to previous conversations around feelings. Feelings are information. They’re temporary. They demand to be felt. When we refuse to create space for our feelings, when we decide that we’re not going to let ourselves feel our emotions, they will pop up somewhere else. For example, you may be really frustrated with a situation at work and it doesn’t feel like you can create space to acknowledge that frustration. Then you go pick up your 3pm coffee from the café down the street and find yourself being needlessly picky and argumentative with your barista. That’s emotional whack a mole at work. Creating a cycle of feelings popping up and then squashing them back down is emotional whack a mole.
Way less fun than the festival game and way more commonplace.
You’re constantly battling and refusing to feel which creates agitation and responses to other people and situations that are often misunderstood.
How do you battle the pull to fall into the trap?
Make space for your feelings. Feelings are temporary. When you allow them their time and space and invite them in, you’re also allowing them to process and pass.
Check in with yourself a few times a day. (I like three, but if that feels like too many, pick a time of transition like from day into work or work into evening). How are you feeling physically? What has happened between now and the last time you checked in with yourself? What emotions came up in that time? Did you allow them their space? If you didn’t feel safe to feel them, do you have an idea of when you can sit with them? Can you create a container for them now?
These check ins give you a focused, intentional opportunity to both acknowledge and feel your feelings and hopefully mitigate the falling into the game.
