Holiday Self Care
The winter holiday season is a favorite among many people. There are so many opportunities to get together. There are parties, family time, lights, sounds, experiences. There can be so much good. For many people it’s also a sharp departure from the way that the rest of their year goes and a spotlight on specific messaging (around how families should be and how bodies should be to name two that come up with frequency) that can quickly have people feel sluggish and drained both physically and emotionally. We’re exploring how you can maintain your self-care in a season where you’re pulled in a number of directions.
First, think about how you want your season to feel. Is there an emotional experience that you’re interested in cultivating? A reminder here, “perfect” is not a feeling and not actually attainable so let that go. Maybe you want to feel calm, relaxed, cozy, connected, disconnected (from work and other stressors). The choices that you make in the next few points will flow from this idea. This is what you want to anchor into as you navigate taking care of yourself.
Second, be deliberate and intentional regarding what events you say yes to and overall do less. You do not have to attend every party, happy hour, secret santa, and celebratory dinner you’re invited to. With the invitations you’ve been sent, what are the events that feel the most impactful? Which ones fill you up emotionally? Are there events that specifically align with the way that you want your season to feel? Identify your limits for social interaction. Remember that we all have differing levels of stamina when it comes to social obligations. It’s okay to honor yours. Simplifying your season by limiting the number of invitations you accept or activities that you “must” do allows you to be fully present for the invitations you do accept and the activities that you deem most important.
Third, maintain a version of your routines. If you have existing self-care routines. Do not abandon them in the bustle of the winter holiday season. If you have an existing exercise/movement routine- keep it. You don’t have to go full out, but maintaining movement can help keep you feel grounded. If you have a journaling practice (or want to start one), protect that time to get some thoughts and feelings out of the body and onto the page. Keep taking your medications as appropriate (sometimes with the different events going on, it’s easy to not get to the pharmacy or easy to forget a refill before you leave town, make sure to GET TO THE PHARMACY). If you have therapy, coaching, doctor, bloodwork etc appointments, keep them. We joke yearly about the last week of the year feeling like a netherworld where time does not exist and sometimes that’s delightful, and sometimes that leaves people feeling very unmoored. Your routines are your anchors.
Fourth, participate in meaningful seasonal traditions. Many people have at least one tradition or thing that comes up seasonally that brings them a piece of joy. This can be something really big like a yearly trip to a specific destination with the whole family, this can also be something smaller like lighting a candle, unwrapping an ornament, or getting that PSL when autumn hits. When it comes to the tradition that matters for you, participating in it will give you a nice hit of the good neurotransmitters. You want these, these are protective.
Finally, make space for complicated feelings. It’s okay to feel weird or disappointed. Like I said at the beginning of this, we get a lot of messaging around how things should be around the holidays. Most of us don’t live in a Norman Rockwell painting or a Hallmark movie. We can abandon those as the standard of the season. When feelings come up around how things are versus how you feel things should (or what the world seems to think things should) be like, it’s okay to experience that disappointment. Make space for this. Don’t feel like you have to mask those feelings. Feeling disappointment or other complicated feelings does not mean that you are not also grateful/joyous/excited. These feelings can and do live side by side.
If you’re struggling with the holiday season, I’m here to help. Click the button below and let’s have a conversation.