New Year New You? Maybe Not: An Alternative to New Year’s Resolutions
We’re gearing up for another year. For many people this feels like a clean slate and a chance to make major changes. Now, you don’t need me to rattle off the statistics around New Year’s Resolutions and the success rate of this proclamations, and I know there are going to be some diehard resolution setters that are going to keep making them (good for you! I wish you success!). I’m here to offer you an alternative that has been shown to have more success and lead to a wider range of changes: intention setting.
The words “intention” and “intentional” have become very buzzy in the past few years and sometimes it feel like they’ve lost meaning; I want to give them new life today. Setting an intention and being intentional, at its core, is deciding how you want something to feel and how you’re going to put concerted effort into living in a way that creates that feeling on purpose.
When we talk about intention setting for the new year, first take stock of the year that is ended. Think about how this past year has felt; were there any feelings that stand out as stronger than others? What was good about it? What things did you do or put effort into that supported those good feelings or experiences? What didn’t feel great? Were you feeling too harried, unsupported, or disconnected? Think about the things that you pushed off, took on, or ignored that supported these not great experiences or feelings. This is information too.
When you feel like you have a good handle on this past year, starting thinking ahead. What do you want out of this year? Maybe you’re someone who has felt lonely and disconnected and looking to the new year, you’d like to make friends and feel like you’re part of a community. Is there a phrase or word that you feel like encompasses how you’d like to feel? The above example might lead someone to have “connection” as an intention for the new year. Let this word or phrase serve as an anchor point throughout the year. If my intention is “connection”, then when I’m prioritizing experiences, events, or obligations in my year, I’m going to put those that support connection higher on the list.
Think of behaviors or experiences that support this intention. Using the above example, maybe going to a meetup group is really nerve wracking for me. But if my intention for the year is connection, then that can serve as a catalyst for pushing through the nerves. Challenge yourself to engaged in behaviors that you’ve identified that support this intention.
Unlike resolutions, intentions encompass a variety of behaviors and lead to an overarching feeling. It can help to create a change that touches all parts of the cognitive triangle (thoughts, feelings, behaviors) and change your whole life for the better.