Relationship Abuse- What is physical abuse?
Back to our series on abuse as it pertains to relationships. The first type that we’re going to talk more about is physical abuse. Oftentimes this does not need much description because somehow the battered spouse has become the face of all kinds of abuse in relationships. The formal definition of physical abuse is anything that involves a person using physical force against you which causes, or could cause, harm.
Most abusers do not start by beating up their victim. Many start with small aggressive actions like a push, shove, or slap. Typically those that abusers that engage in physical abuse do not stay at this level, oftentimes they escalate to bigger aggressive actions that cause more harm to their victim.
Common examples of physical abuse include:
· Pushing
· Shoving
· Slapping
· Biting
· Kicking
· Choking
· Strangling
· Restraining you
· Throwing things
· Driving recklessly
· Force-feeding you
· Starving you
· Using weapons
If you think back to last week and the explanation of the cycle of abuse, any one of these actions would encompass “the incident” and in stage three, reconciliation, abusers may try to make their victim feel like the it was somehow their fault. They may also make excuses for their behavior, ex. “I’m just so stressed I needed a release”.
You are no one’s punching bag.
It is never the fault of the victim. Abusers cannot stand their own shame and want to maintain the “relationship” they have with their victim and it is easier to them to make you believe that it was somehow your fault.
It is not your fault.
It is not an expression of love.
It is not justified.
It IS illegal.
It IS unacceptable.
If this is something you’re experiencing in your relationship, the most important thing is to ensure your safety. Call the national domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or chat with them to find additional resources at thehotline.org/help/