Premarital Conversations: Future Goals

This week is the most fun! Talking about your future goals with your partner before you commit your life to them.

SO much fun if you let it be!

The purpose of this conversation is multi-fold:

First- you get to see if you guys are at all on the same page. If you are this becomes daydreaming and an enjoyable way to spend a conversation. If you’re not on the same page, you get to talk about your hopes and dreams and why they’re important to you and how you may or may not be able to support one another in their dreams (remember, you don’t totally stop being an individual just because you’re in a relationship!)

Second- you get to peek into your partner’s internal world. I always come back to this idea because it’s SO huge. You don’t let just anyone into your internal world. You don’t share your hopes, dreams, and fears for the future with every person in the streets. This is sacred information, shared only with the most trusted companions-like your partner. When talking about your vision of the future and what your goals are, so much of that is wrapped up in things that we don’t always share with others.

Third- This is a big one- You get to start formulating the framework for shared vision and shared goals for the future. Feeling like you’re working toward the same ends is incredibly powerful for couples. For many couples, it is something that protects against feeling disconnected EVEN WHEN life gets busy and the world gets in the way of regular dates and regular time spent together. It’s implicit knowledge that you’re moving in the same direction. This helps to move you from being romantic interests for one another to true partners.

There are also a lot of fears that come up around this conversation if you think you’re not on the same page- but even then I think it’s valuable to have this. When your partner sees you and sees your needs, it allows them and you to make an informed choice to still be part of the relationship. It helps you figure out where you stand and clarify your goals.

If you feel like there are things standing in the way of you and your partner being able to join on a shared vision of the future and sharing your future goals, give me a call! Let’s see if we can walk around that obstacle.