Is This It?: Finding Purpose and Defining Your Why
Much of the early parts of our lives are placed against a set of predetermined goals or achievements and we are judged against whether we meet them or not. As we cross into adulthood, for those who thrive on achieving, the lack of a perceived measuring stick can be a jarring transition. That can quickly get supplanted by the acquisition of tangible things, buying a house, having a kid, making x amount of money, but then eventually you lift your head and wonder….is this it? Have I reached the end? Do I just exist until I die now? This is where the importance of purpose comes in.
Purpose gives us direction and a place to anchor our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Purpose does not have to be fancy or particularly out of the ordinary, and it does need to be personal. Purpose defines a person’s “why” (as in WHY am I doing this? WHY does this matters? WHY don’t I just quit?). Life can be really hard and can throw a lot of curveballs and there can be a million and one reasons why not, and sometimes the answer is to not, however you can better make that determination when you have a well defined why that is anchored in your purpose.
How you can tell if you’re struggling with purpose? For some, struggling with purpose can resemble feeling like they’re on a hamster wheel. They’re going and going day in and day out and are not really connected to what they are doing. They may feel deenergized. It may feel like they’re living the same day over and over again. Things might feel flat. Not necessarily BAD (which is a good indicator that you’re working against your purpose), but flat, like colorless. In the absence of other mental health issues (depression in particular) these can indicate that you’re disconnected from your purpose.
Where should purpose fit into your life? In an idea situation, all of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors would be interconnected through purpose. When left this simply however, it appears to imply that one should derive purpose from their job, family, and every hobby and that’s not exactly it. Purpose is overarching. Perhaps your overarching purpose in life is to create art. Creating art can be a very challenging career field. If you find yourself not working in a creative field, you can still be attached to purpose by prioritizing creating art in other parts of your life. For example, you can work in a call center to ensure you can live in the capitalist society we’ve created and also use that job and the payment you receive from it to fund your art and, in turn, live out your purpose with the rest of your time.
How can someone start finding or defining their purpose? This is a much more complex process than I am about to describe, and the short of it is where does your great passion and the world’s great need meet? (excuse the bastardized Frederick Beuchner quote). Where do you feel the most effective and the greatest ability to get into a flow? What feeds your soul? What is your why? The answers to all of these questions make up your purpose. And it’s important to note that your purpose might change. Your priorities might shift and you may see something else crop up in a different season of your life that better shapes your why. Be open to that.
Purpose can be a grounding force in everything that we do. It can help keep us connected to who we are and allow for moments of self-reflection and self awareness. It is the foundation that starts carving out a path for us as we make our way through life. If you’re struggling with identifying your purpose or seeking direction, click the button below and let’s have a conversation to start shaping your why.