Vulnerability

This week’s topic has generated a lot of buzz over the past several years. It’s an uncomfortable topic-

Vulnerability.

The dictionary defines vulnerability as the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.

And yeah, when it’s defined this way, why on earth would anyone want to practice vulnerability or seek out opportunities to be vulnerable? WOOHOO Something can hurt me!!! No.

What this definition fails to explain is that vulnerability is also a state of being fully yourself and opening yourself up for intimate connection.

That does not mean it is without risk. Of course sharing your thoughts, feelings, fears, weaknesses, joys, and challenges opens you up the possibility that those won’t be treated with care and respect.

What is does not tell you is that it also opens you up to the possibility to be known, accepted, supported, and loved. When you are unable or unwilling to be vulnerable, you hold people at arms’ length and your relationships are less fulfilling than they could be.

If vulnerability is so risky, how does one feel safe to try it?

Well, there are some camps that say if you feel 100% safe, than it’s not true vulnerability and they may be right, but I tend to frame it as stretching and practicing our tolerance with discomfort.

Maybe you try a risk that seems lower stakes. This could mean having a vulnerable moment with a stranger. Or perhaps, opening up more to a friend who have kept more on the fringe, but feel like they could be a safer space for you.

Then do it again.

Keep doing this to create a wealth of experiences where this went well and experiences where, if it didn’t go well, you were able to survive and carry on.

Your brain needs these as anchor points.

They will help you to feel more comfortable being more vulnerable over time.